can you imagine what would happen if arthur weasley discovered google
The Harry Potter books are set in the early 90’s. I bet that he discovered the Internet around 2000, and was captivated. He probably spent years getting the Ministry to adopt wi-fi, and now he spends his lunch breaks perusing Wikipedia. At home he has a state-of-the-art computer rig with like four massive monitors and he marathons “How It’s Made” on Netflix.
it’s really funny bc like listening to english majors talk about their classes or projects theyre really articulate and they use complex words and stuff and it’s very prestigious sounding and then you listen to science majors and if theyre just talking amongst themselves it sounds more like “yeah i put the compound in the thing and honestly i was hoping for a little boom but all i got was a sizzle i dont know what i did wrong.”
they also went to the louvre together to, like, check out the dicks on statues for comparison just to calm scott the fuck down.
(i can just picture them, scott being his usual neurotic self, and ernest just like, ‘give me strength. are you fucking kidding me? i nearly died in the war. i have a fucking medal of bravery. and we’re looking at cocks together. gatsby can only take you so far, my friend. you better write another goddamn masterpiece soon.’)
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
i hate when people call their grandparents weird names instead of grandma and grandpa like babooshka or salami
i’m telling grandpa salami that you were talking shit
this is some white nonsense
y’all know that different languages exist right
"weird names for grandparents, like babooshka"
so, like, literally, the russian word for “grandmother”
i just realized that fucking ross geller got tenure in the field of paleontology at, like, age 30? and must’ve been hired at that tenure track position in his mid-20s? how was he so young? how old was he when he got his PhD? did he just… get a job after graduating without even doing a postdoc? is this what the 90s were like? fuck the 90s. fuck ross geller. fuck the way rachel got that coffee shop job with no experience
My favourite part in Order of the Phoenix is when Harry and Sirius are playing hide and seek in the Ministry and Sirius is being silly behind the veil then he jumps out at Harry like “Haha found you!” and then they laugh and high five and go out for ice cream at Fortescue’s.
happened to me the other day im like damn its a 20 relax shawty
aint nobody tryna lose their job for a fake ass bill
WE ARE REQUIRED TO DO THIS.
Literally everywhere I worked, we were required to check every bill larger than a ten. Since we didn’t know who was a secret shopper or someone from corporate, we follow the rules coz cashiers can lose their jobs if a counterfeit bill turns up.